Lesson #23

Tonight while I was looking up some art stuff something popped up.  Something, no, someone from my past showed up on a video.  I hadn't seen Robert since 1997 when the last thing we said to each other wasn't very nice.  I don't really remember what we fought about, I just know I never saw him again.  He goes by a new name now but I know that name and where it came from.  I was there the name was conceived and it warmed my heart to see that the name had stood the test of time.  It was good to see that he was doing something he enjoyed.  I have one of his original pieces and whenever I pull it out I think of him.    Robert and I were room mates from 1994 to 1995 then we ended up living just a few doors down from each other until the beginning of 1997.  I remember Robert as being quirky, vivacious, no-holds barred enthusiastic about life and most of all the loudest gay man I ever knew.  He taught me about unconditional love, something I had not known until then. 

When I first met Robert it wasn't your usual "Hi, how are you" he barged into my house wearing a kilt and pumpkin earrings and proudly proclaimed "Hi, I'm Robert and I'm gay!"...how do you respond to such a bold introduction?  When he decided to travel, I remember helping him sell his beloved Disney memorabilia. I remember hearing how upset he was because his car had stalled and a bunch of toys fell out the back of the truck and when he went to go retrieve them they were all ready gone.  I was also there, and I will never forget the phone call, when his mother passed away.  I was sitting at home watching T.V. when the phone rang and it was this voice, so small, yet so, forced "My mommy died" was all he said and the next thing I remember is we were sitting outside my apartment hugging each other. One Christmas he gave me a Winnie The Pooh book that I still reference every now and again.

When my father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, I tried to contact him to tell him, I was sorry for our fight, and I finally know what he was feeling when his mother passed but he was gone.  I didn't expect to ever hear or see from him again.  Until tonight..... I found him on Facebook and sent a quick note, I also tried to email him.  I'm hoping one of the two will get through...if not, I won't regret my time with Robert a.k.a vatruzula, he not only taught me about compassion for other people but to call people on their shit even when you know the shit is gonna get messy.